4 ways to intentionally connect with your kids
Welcome to our family truth: we a group of humans living in a home in north Idaho, figuring out life one day at a time. We hurt each other with our words and we have to figure out how to make it right. We are constantly learning how to extend grace, and how to love each other well. We are far from perfect but we are here to learn and grow daily.
Now that we have gotten that out of the way and you know just how flawed we are, you can understand that the words I write here are ones we are constantly working on, ones we are growing with and words that convict me even as I write them down. These four ways are amazing tools and the more I practice them, the easier they become to live out but again, I am constantly learning to live them out.
So here are four of the ways we live out intentionally connecting with our kids
1- POINT OUT GOOD CHARACTER AND GOD’S BEST IN THEM
This doesn’t have to be long winded but it does take you to be aware of them and their actions. Watch as they play cards and let the other person go first, listen to their gentle words floating in through the kitchen window, watch when they help their sibling reach the book on the top shelf. And when you witness something like this, be quick to point it out to them. It could be in the moment or as you are tucking them into bed. But words like these lets them know that no matter how busy life gets or chaotic the day has become, mom still notices them and those moments they chose to bring glory to God with their actions, made a difference in someones day.
2- LOOK THEM IN THE EYES
It’s easy to let our to-do lists take up our time, and our errands get the best of us, but stopping and looking into our children’s eyes when they are talking or when we say “I love you” means more to them than they can even express. There is something about setting aside the thing we are busy with and turning our attention to each-other, regardless of how old someone becomes, we all still long to be seen. I sometimes, lock eyes with them for 5 seconds longer than they feel comfortable with which will soon ensure laughter and a moment they won’t soon forget.
3- ENGAGE IN SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO THEM
I may not be able to give each child a whole afternoon or hours alone each day, but I can give them a few well spent minutes at a time. One of my children loves playing card games and randomly calling for a fun game of Speed before we start on our math will bring about joy for the rest of the morning. Another loves to build amazing things with LEGOS, and while he may choose the exact moment the meat needs to come off the grill and the timer going off for the bread, to show me his creations, I can quickly take off the meat, pull out the bread and then turn my attention to him and let him show me all the secret compartments he has created on his pirate ship.
4- OPEN COMMUNICATION
I have an open door policy and because of this, it is not unusual for my children to “confess” things to me without me inquiring about them. I heard something once and it has helped me navigate this area and I believe it has helped them feel safe in being able to bring heart things to me. Here it is “when your children confess something to you, DO NOT REACT”.
It takes a lot for them to open up to us and in keeping a calm and collected answer, we assure them that we are a safe space for them to do so. we let them know that whatever it is, we are here for them.
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